SkinnyME

Thyroid

posted by seemzy @ 5:38 PM |

Temptation

I havn't been doing well lately! Last night I had a burger, which wasn't so bad because it was extra lean meat and it was all veggies, some cheese on a whole wheat bun. The bad part is that I had FRIES!! Can you beleive it??? I couldn't resist. Especially since the smell was all over the house. I feel like shit, but whatever it's in the past and obviously I can't do shit about it. Blah fucking blah.

Today I did OK I starved for most of the morning because I was to into reading Dr. Phil's weight loss book LOL. I can't believe it! I put off food for Dr. Phil wow! It's actually a great book. Some really good pointers. I'm going to stick to my calorie counting for now and when I'm halfway to my goal I'll try his method. It looks really good and I totally understand it.

Anyways, we're having pizza tonight (homemade) and I'm going to eat it and not feel bad because my calories are extremely low today and plus it's not bad greasy pizza ( I made sure my mom made a very thin crust!)

Exercising has been down in the dumps. Havn't exercised at all. I'm going to downtown again tomorrow morning so I'll get some walking in then. Also, next week I think I'll make myself a challange to walk 12 miles in 6 days :) I think that would be cool and very helpful.

My scale is going haywire. It's pissing me off :(. It keeps dancing up and down and I know that stupid thing is messed up. I payed only $14.00 so what should have I expected? It works fine sometimes but other times, I don't know what's wrong with it. It's like someone is playing with it..keep making the pin go above 0, whoever is doing it is very mean =(.

Last night I spent some time cleaning out my MSN contact list only 11 people left. I remember when I used to have like 70. I just couldn't stand it anymore. I've spent more time on this computer then I ever have on anything. Once, my life was the fucking computer. I can't believe that happened to me. I'm glad it's not like that anymore even though I do spend a fair amount of time on it just not as much as I used to.

I'm turning 19 years old on November 21st, I need a fucking life.

EDIT
I'm already feeling lonely with no one to talk to. I swear no one understands me at home!!!! =/
Anyone want to add me on MSN or AIM leave me a comment! :)

posted by seemzy @ 7:59 PM |

Is it working?

Oh god, my body ached so bad today! I swear I took like 5minutes taking off my shirt to go into the shower because whenever I moved my arms, shoulder or chest it hurt so bad! I didn't work out today, I couldn't. I know I just had to do lower body today but still I just really hurt and couldn't do it but tomorrow is a new day -- I might not do the lower body workout tomorrow right in the morning because I have to go downtown with my mom so we'll be be pretty much walking around I'll get in some exercise that way and also I'll try to do lower body in the evening.

My eating was great today even though at some points of the day I felt a little "starved" but I just drank some water or had a couple of baby carrots and felt a little better. I can't wait for grocery shopping on Saturday because then I'll at least have some more variety and feel like I have more options. I ended up with 1184 calories today. I know that's low but I was feeling really tired because of my muscles and just didn't want to get up to eat or walk or anything!

Sometimes it feels deadly looking in the fridge because I see all these yummy things and I know I can't eat them because of the loads of calories in them, so I just shut the door and either sit infront of the TV or computer. That's all I do all day, sad huh? I can't wait for school to start in September, it's only one class, but hey it's still school right? I'll be busy with that for a few hours a day.

I don't think mom realises I'm on a diet program that I made for myself. All she knows is that I've cut back on tea to only one cup a day. I guess it's better that she doesn't know. Everytime she knew I failed and it was disappointing to see her so disappointed in myself =/.

Holy shit am I gassy! It's all that brown rice...dude if this happens with just rice what will happen with cereal?

posted by seemzy @ 10:31 PM |

Boring

Very boring day, but when do I ever have and fun-packed days anyway? I guess it's okay. It's been like this for a year now and I'm used to it. I can't believe I was such a social person, I can't belive what a anti-social person I am now. My only contact with the outside world is Aman. Even today we didn't talk much, he seemed busy with his DAY OFF. I shouldn't be mad though, it's his life and he seemed kind of bored just like me...we were talking about nothing, actually we were saying nothing. Oh look he just signed on hmm..I'll wait for him to message me like I usually do, why do I do this?? It's so weird I'm always waiting for everything! Well at least now I'm taking control in other aspects of my life like my weight.

I woke up late today (11AM!!!) so I went straight ahead to working out because I promised I would!! I did upper body workout with weights with the help of Kathy Smith Lift weights to lose weight video. My arms were like jelly afterwards! It was great haha. I loved the aching feeling because it made me feel like I accomplished something big-something that is going to help me out in the future :)

I didn't have breakfast since I woke up so late (note to self: buy some high fiber cereal!) For lunch I had yesterdays left over burrito (1 1/2) and for dinner I had curry chicken with brown rice. Snacks were baby carrots and a couple of slices of mango. I managed to stay under 1300 calories so that's great :). I'm trying to stay between 1200-1300 calories a day closer to the 1200 range. I'm not going to get mad at myself if I go 20-30 over because I don't want to feel guilty even though somtimes it's good to feel guilty but you shouldn't have to beat yourself up about it right?

It's only 9:13PM and I'm hoping my full stomach lasts till I goto bed. I don't want to be snacking, if I do get hungry I guess I'll grab a piece of fruit or something.

Anyways what do you all do when you find yourself hungry and it's not time for Lunch or Dinner yet? What do you snack on? and if you have lots more hours to go what do you snack on to keep you full?

posted by seemzy @ 9:02 PM |

Not too shabby...

Didn't workout today. But I will tomorrow for sure.

What I ate:

In the morning I didn't know what to eat for breakfast..I seriously can't stand eggs anymore. I just had 6 baby carrots to eat and that's it. I don't mind, even though it didn't fill me up..at least I had carrots instead of a lemon muffin or a donut :)

For lunch I made myself 3 burritos 2 for today and 1 for tomorrow. I used a whole wheat tortilla and filled with red kidney beans (are these okay? I'll look it up later) that I heated up and added some salsa to and some chili powder. Also some fresh lettuce, tomato, onions and green peppers. I added some salsa (sugar free) and regular cheddar cheese which is SO bad but I can't get any non fat cheeses until Saturday when my dad comes home.
This lunch filled me up too much! To that disgusting bloating stage..I should have just had 1 or 1 and a half. I need to work on controling my eating.

Drank lots of water throughout the day (2litres) is that a lot? LOL. I don't even know, but to me it was.

Now for dinner. I'm ashamed to say that I had 2 slices of vegetarian pizza :( not very big slices but still they were two slices of vegetarian pizza. Usually I would have 3 pieces..I'm glad I controled myself and had only 2 which made me full but not the extent that I wanted to throw up :).

Today I basically was online for most of the day looking through other peoples fitness blogs and getting some tips. It's amazing to see all these people that are trying to do the same thing as me, get fit.  And what's even more amazing is all their results, it gives me lots of hope and inspiration.

I also jazzed up my blog a little bit too lol.

I have some plans to workout tomorrow. I'll post them when I actually do them :)

posted by seemzy @ 9:40 PM |

So it begins...

I've contemplated for a long time to create a blog about my weight loss journey or not. Because even I'm not sure if there will be a "weight loss journey".
 
Losing weight is not just a small little issue to me. It's a BIG issue. Where as I am only 18 years old and feel like I can't even live life fat. To me, my life doesn't start till I'm fit and I know that's so unfair and stupid but that's just how I feel and it's so hard to change that. By next year around this time I WILL have reached my goal *corsses fingers* I deserve better. Way better.
 
Yesterday I worked out and today I didn't. I'm disappointed. I know so much more about exercise then I ever did before but I never put words into actions. I'm waiting for Monday to creep up so I can officaly start this "journey". I've made up my mind, nothing will stop me from what I want most. 50 pounds isn't easy to lose, I know this. But I need to do it. I want to be healthy.
 
I remember when Aman once said to me..."if you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for me" that was a wake up call. I know he wants me to be healthy and fit and he cares about me so much, I love him with every beat of my heart. He motivates me and shows me all the things I can do that I'm so embarassed to do right now. He makes me believe that I can do this.
 
I can and will do this.

posted by seemzy @ 5:24 PM |